Tunnel VisionApr 17, 2023
When we judge we often practice tunnel vision.
We only see what is right in front of us and may actively create a blindness to see what else may also be true.
If we decide someone is lazy we will look for all the evidence to prove it and ignore data that counters our judgment.
If we decide we've been wronged we will not entertain where we may have played a role in the situation.
When we find ourself saying should, or making sweeping statements about everyone or using always ... often judgment follows.
This is also called confirmation bias.
Focus on the word bias in that sentence.
"Bias is to be prejudice in favor of or against one thing, person, or group compared with another, usually in a way considered to be unfair." Oxford Languages
When you find yourself judging a thing, person or group, consider where you could park the judging and get curious instead. I mean we are all human. Judging is a reflex for most of us. And, curiosity is not.
I am working on doing this letting my judgment be a cue to immediately shift to curiosity.
- I wonder what result she was hoping for?
- I wonder what feeling fueled that action?
- I wonder what else may be going on in his life?
- I wonder what is actually causing that anger?
- I wonder how the opposite could be true?
- I wonder how I contributed to x?
- I wonder what I may be missing?
- I wonder how I can lead with love right now?
- I wonder what could also be true?
- I wonder how my future wiser self would react to this?
I am curious...
I am on a fact finding mission, not seeking drama.
Wonder is a simple and powerful tool to use.
Warning... it requires emotional maturity, taking full responsibility for what you feel and far more effort than leaning on bias, unquestioned hypotheses, and assumptions.
I wonder where can you infuse some wondering into your day, today?