The real reason you are unhappyMay 04, 2021
Do you wonder why you are not happy?
I have all that I ever dreamed of and yet.... I'm not happy.
I have no idea why I feel this way.
I tried x and y and still... unhappy.
I wonder if I changed x and y if I'd be happier.
I want (fill in the blank... a leaner body, a new job, a new relationship) but I'm not motivated to go after it.
What is wrong with me?
Maybe this is as good as it gets.
Do you find yourself thinking any of these thoughts?
If so, no fretting.
They suck right?
But no worries.
Nothing has gone wrong.
What's been innocently modeled to most of us is that we need the motivation to change our circumstances (job, body, marriage) and then.... we will feel happy.
But, that is simply not true.
You create motivation from what you think, not what your situation is.
Same is true for happiness.
You create happiness from what you think, not what your situation is.
Please read that again.
You alone can create happiness with your brain.
Amaze bombs right?
And if you get the new job, new man, new body, but bring all your
current thinking with you, eventually, you'll end up unhappy again.
I'm not a Debbie Downer.
I'm a truth teller.
And you can't change your thoughts if you don't know what they are.
We spend most of our time thinking thoughts on default, unexamined thoughts, but thoughts we think are for sure true. Our brain wants to be efficient, not work hard and keep us safe so it floods us with all that we have practiced thinking. Even if they aren't true. They feel true.
I should be content.
My parents didn't have it this good.
Silly to think I could have a love affair with my husband. That's only in the movies.
This job isn't that bad.
My expectations are just too high.
I mean.... sure I've gained weight... menopause.
I don't want to leave you hanging, but if "I should be content" is true so can "I'm ready for extraordinary."
If, "love affairs are only in the movies" is true so can "let's break all the molds with this marriage."
I'm watching this happen daily with my clients.
They are realizing that every thought they can imagine is available to them.
And, they are learning to choose the ones that turn them on.
That feel delicious.
And, then... their lives are changing.
And, nothing outside of them is actually changing.
How do you even put a price on that type of exhilaration?
What "unbelievable" thought about your life can you start thinking today.
The more unbelievable the better because it will cause your brain to stretch.
Remember... we are going for a delicious life, not a "food as fuel" life.
You feel me?