#1 confidence killerNov 11, 2021
Most of my clients come to me for help building confidence.
They may think they hire me to change careers.
They may think they hire me to make a relationship decision.
They may think they hire me to get out of overwhelm.
They may think they hire me to learn how to manage their time.
But, really... they hire me to show them how to build confidence.
And, I love every second of it!
Once they have developed more confidence,
they are more likely to easily handle any of the above.
And, over and over and over, I find that
the number one obstacle to growing in confidence is
And, as I mostly work with women, I have done a deep dive into the intersection of worry and confidence in our brains. Trying to understand what is happening to keep us "safe" in worry.
Most female brains fire in areas that promote empathy, intuition, collaboration, self-control and "appropriate" worry.
However, this firing also leaves us more vulnerable to anxiety, depression, insomnia, pain, and the inability to turn off our thoughts.
When our prefrontal cortex is working too hard, as it often is in women, it can get stuck on certain thoughts and behaviors - like worry or resentment. And, this can lead to to non stop negative thinking and anxiety. And this leads to more worry - to the point where you may not be able to turn it off.
WORRY is THE confidence killer.
If you are worried, of course you won't easily make a decision about your career, marriage, time, overwhelm. Instead you will stay in indecision, second guessing, maybe crowd source, catastrophize, and fuel the thoughts of all that could go wrong.
Guess how you override worry?
You make decisions, and don't look back.
You learn how to halt the negative self talk.
You embrace discomfort.
You accept that failure is part of growing.
You have compassion for yourself.
You take a tiny risk, and then a bigger risk.
You do not solve for worry just in your brain.
You solve for worry through your actions too.
If you want to learn more, I'd love to walk you through my method.
Worry is an unnecessary obstacle to anything you want in life.
Some even call it indulgent.
I just call it a time waster...