You Find What You Seek

If you think someone is difficult, you wear glasses that sharpen your eye sight to hone in on every single example of why they are difficult.

So continuing on our theme... Thought #2: What we think about others, we find evidence to prove to ourselves. Now you are not a bad person. You are not walking around with a notepad seeking examples of how folks are difficult. No, it happens far more unintentionally than that. Your brain is trained to find examples to support thoughts we want to believe. So, think about when you first fall in love. The person can do no wrong. They are so funny (made you laugh once.) They are so polite (opened your car door once.) They are ambitious (stayed late at work once.) And, then ... you have a bad break up and you may think... He wasn't even funny (he only made me laugh once.) He was so rude (he only opened my car door once.) He was lazy (he only put in extra hours at work one day.) See... our brain is excellent at providing us examples of what we most want to prove. So, let's take this idea to the workplace. It you see a colleague as a challenge you will find evidence to support this thought. There he goes arguing with my proposal again. Look at her sucking up to our boss. Why does he always have to identify my typos? If you see your employee as delightful, you will likely find thoughts to support this too. Look at him offering me some alternative ways to approach this proposal. She is always so nice to everyone, even our boss. He is always looking out for me by finding typos before I hit send. What are you routinely finding evidence to prove about those around you? Your children. Your spouse. Your colleagues. Your family. Your boss. Your clients.


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