Updated: Feb 2
This month, I have had so many clients tell me that they just don't follow through.
They can't count on themselves.
And, they don't think they ever will.
They buy paint supplies and then don't paint.
They buy an instrument and then don't play it.
They buy the book and then don't read it.
They create a detailed to do list and then do nothing on it.
They decide to lose weight and then eat off protocol.
The buy all the containers and then never organize the closet.
I get it.
But, here's what they are not acknowledging:
They make sure their kids and/or pets are fed.
They take care of their patients.
They teach their students.
They make their boss look good.
They have clean clothes to wear (that they often laundered).
They show up at work and at the bus stop.
They pay their bills.
They grocery shop, or make sure there is food in the house.
They registered their kids for school.
They completed college.
Their teeth are brushed and their hair is washed most days.
They show up to our coaching appointments, most weeks.
They are masters at follow through.
At least, following through for others.
What they are really telling me is:
I don't set aside time for me and my pleasures.
I commit and then let all my plans slip because I am exhausted or I let myself run out of time.
I think I am supposed to be perfect and never let a ball drop.
I am not living up to the Pinterest version of me as a woman or a mom or an employee.
I am not game to own all the ways I am a superhero.
It's so much easier just to critique, compare, and judge myself.
Help, I need help because I've tried "everything" and nothing works.
Please save me from me!
And here is the message I scream from my bullhorn
(ok, say with an indoor voice on our zoom calls...)
You do a shit ton for others.
You do so much "right."
Your husband does not want a mini me of him.
Investing in you, by hiring me, is a clear message to you that you matter and you have trust that you can change, even if it is just a modicum of belief. (It's all we need.)
What if you spend the next 3 months with me celebrating all the ways you are a high achiever, an accomplished woman, dependable, loving, loved, and then what if we just build the evidence that your future doesn't have to do a thing with your past.
You can put down that story and pick up a new one.
You can take baby steps and build integrity with yourself today no matter how you have identified who you are since you were 12, or your mom has, or former husband has, or best friend has.
You are not winning when you focus on where you are losing.
And, gurl... I am all about winning.
Winning at trust.
Winning at getting rid of mental clutter.
Winning at loving yourself.
Winning at self care.
Winning at outsourcing, editing, deleting, and scheduling in reasonable doses.
Winning at gathering evidence to prove what you consciously choose to prove.
Winning at a life overflowing with pleasure.
Do you see yourself in this description?
If so, what beliefs do you have about yourself that are limiting you from being who you most want to be.
And, I didn't say, who your boss, child, husband, mom most wants you to be.
Nope... who you want to be.
Last week I shared that I gave up on the story that I'm a loser because I can't follow a routine and replaced it with:
I am a person who doesn't need routines to produce a ton, run a well compensated business and a lovely household, all while living a life I adore.
It's actually quite simple.
What part of your identity are you willing to replace? delete? toss?