Updated: Feb 2
Who do you envy?
Get really curious...
I know. I know. We are not to envy anyone. Well we are human and envy is human and this is just a harmless exercise so please join in.
Get out a piece of paper or open up notes on your phone.
And you don't have to tell anyone your answer so...
There's no wrong or embarrassing answer.
Well, unless you decide to judge yourself.
But... come on... if you've been reading my emails you know judgment just blocks you. I am inviting curiosity....
So, give yourself a hot minute or the time it takes to drink your coffee to answer: Who do you envy?
(I never remember if it is envy or jealous that is the less Godly emotion... so just swap out the word envy if that triggers you. Basically, whose life do you wish you were living? Or part of their life? Not who do you wish ill upon. Or who do you resent... No, but this is more than who do you admire... A little bit of coveting is what we are uncovering.)
I'll wait here while you come up with your list.
I mean be real... it isn't just one person is it?
It's probs a few.
It may take a bit of time.
I used to be so scared of envy.
I felt shame if I envied.
I would never let the words, "I sure envy X," cross my lips.
Talk about a missed opportunity.
You know why?
Because identifying envy is the fastest way to gather clues to the life you most want.
And, now that I know to my toes that I am solely responsible for the life I most want wouldn't I want clues?
So, I am honest with myself now.
I suppress nothing.
(If you've been at a gathering with me, you know I'm not lying.)
I envy many and I fuel the envy.
You're like, "What??? That's sick..."
I welcome the envy.
I look for envy.
Envy is data.
I look at envy as a way for the universe to shake me out of day dreaming.
#1. Name what you feel when you write down who you envy.
How do you embody your answer?
Do you feel inspired?
Do you feel resentful?
Do you feel in awe?
Do you feel possibility?
Do you feel anger?
Do you feel regret?
No feelings are wrong.
No feelings should be suppressed.
Just data dear you.
#2, What are you thinking that creates that feeling?
It's not fair.
If she could do it so can I.
Must be nice.
What can I learn from him?
Silver spoon anyone?
I will never have what she has.
She's setting the example for what is possible.
#3, What is it exactly that you envy about this person/these people?
Their joie de vivre.
#4 Journal about what you think you'd feel if you had what you envy in them. Remember this is data collecting time. Not drama collecting time.
I think I'd feel ________ if I had his career.
I think I'd feel ________ if I had her finances.
I think I'd feel ________ if I had her confidence.
I think I'd feel ________ if I had her marriage.
#5 Is there one thing you can do this week to get closer to the feelings you identified above?
Remember it is your thoughts that create your feelings, not the circumstances of your life. So, how can you create the above feelings in your life without anything changing?
Stay tuned for more....
Until then, play around with this concept. Lean in to the envy. Stop resisting what you think is greedy or unhelpful.... I mean, maybe it is, but what if you were feeling these things so you can learn more about who you are becoming?