Updated: Feb 2
We all have secrets. Me, you, the check out lady. No biggie unless we use them against us or allow them to keep us stuck. I have heard all of them. And, I promise there is no judging. None. I am about you creating your ultimate happiness. And, I know first hand how powerful it can be to bring a secret out of the darkness into light and then kiss it goodbye. You know the type of secrets to which I am referring....
You hate your job.
You have had an affair.
You feel like an imposter.
You over drink.
You eat a lot when you are alone.
You are miserable.
You are surrounded by people, but feel very lonely.
You don't really believe you'll ever find a husband.
You have a poster of the Back Street Boys in your closet.
You dream of running away.
You want a divorce.
Your child has an addiction.
You resent the way your life has "turned out."
You know exactly what you want but think others will think it is silly or irresponsible or selfish or unrealistic or... whatever...
You regret a decision you made
You have settled - in a relationship, your career, your salary
You hate your body.
You don't think you belong.
If any of these ring true for you, I am hugging you through the screen. Pause. Give yourself a moment. This shit is real and it weighs us down. Next, sweet dear you, please consider committing to creating happiness by extinguishing your secrets instead of the misery that comes from burying them. If you are ready to build more happiness I recommend these three steps: First step - discomfort Second step - awareness and decision making Third step - freedom Discomfort Here is the irony. It is already uncomfortable living with a secret, but for some reason we as humans choose that discomfort more often than the discomfort of getting really honest with ourselves and those around us. Somehow avoiding, ignoring, or people pleasing feels less uncomfortable than running toward what you most want. So in this step I recommend getting super honest with yourself. Awareness and decision making This is the part where you really define what you want and what you don't. And this is also the step where you take full responsibility for your past, present, and future. Get rid of any blame, excuse making, outsourcing - own it all. Does that sound terrible? It is actually the first step toward empowerment. Deciding once and for all you are not the result of your circumstances, but instead of how you interpret your circumstances. And then you choose what you want to bring into your tomorrow, all of your tomorrows actually. Freedom When you decide to address your secret there is almost immediate relief before any bit of change or work has begun. I can't tell you how many times someone has hired me and they start to cry on the consult call. These are tears of relief. Of hope. Of pride in themselves. Of trust in me, them, and the process. Tears are not necessary, but they are always a powerful sign. Then the work begins and the self judging reduces, the worry reduces, the embarrassment reduces, and the hope and motivation and momentum grow!
And, here are the big questions:
Who would you be without this secret?
How would life be different?
What would your future look like?
What would relief feel like?
Where would daily habits improve - sleep, eating, movement?
Incredible where you could be in 6 months.
Actually, you'll be somewhere in 6 months whether you make a change or not.
What is preventing you from going for it?